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Engagement!

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Hey everyone!  This week we are discussing engagement!  I wanted to start with a quote from President Russell M. Nelson:

"Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concentrated effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed in each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness."    

What an exciting time!  You found someone and you have exclusively dated for long enough that you feel like you know them (this shouldn’t be any less than three months at the very least).  You have decided that you want to spend your life with this person and the next step is engagement.  Engagement is a contract/agreement that you will be married. What do you need in order to take it? A ring of course!  Did you know that studies have shown that for every $1 you spend over $2,500 for a ring decreases that chance that you will stay married?  Isn’t that interesting?!

Engagement is a good opportunity to practice making decisions together and communicating.  There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding and a marriage and you will need to be able to work together to do so.  Two recommendations at this stage would serve us well:  1. Practice budgeting when planning the wedding.  The patterns you establish now will carry on with you. 2. Don’t start your marriage in debt, you will lose some of your freedoms.  This is a critical time in your relationship.  You need to discuss things such as children, values, role responsibilities, expectations, timing of family, where to live, who you expect to be the bread winner, etc.  If you find that things don’t match up, you will understand the importance of discussing these things BEFORE marriage.  Ask for their thoughts on as many things pertaining to marriage as you can.  Also, don’t forget the importance of CONTINUED dating.  Make healthy dating patterns now and maintain them because those patterns will continue into your marriage.

You are now engaged to the love of your life and the wedding planning begins.  Be weary.  Do not spend a ton of money on your reception.  It is not worth it.  Sometimes you will find that parents invest a lot of money into your wedding and this can be a huge red flag!  When they do this, they are almost creating a sense of debt to them and they are trying to be too much a part of your relationship.  The whole point of getting married is to dissolve that relationship so you can build a life with your spouse.  Be careful with how involved you let your parents’ finances be. 

We talked about different kinds of receptions that my peers had attended.  All of the ones that left the most impact were the ones that were still nice but laid back.  One thing they all had in common?  There was no receiving line!  All of the parents and the happy couple were out mingling among their guests.  I loved this idea.  You want people to have a good time and you want to talk to your guests! After all, they are there for you!  I love the idea of foregoing this tradition and just talking.  That sounds like it would be more memorable than another wedding where your parents have to talk to all of the people they don’t know.  One of my favorites that we talked about was when someone rented a merry go round and had a potluck dinner.  I love that!  Super fun, different, memorable, relaxed, and fairly inexpensive.  I love the idea of everyone working together to celebrate two people uniting whom they love and care for.  I have always wanted an assorted popcorn bar, a chocolate fountain, and a ranch fountain.  Doesn't that just sound epic!? What is your ideal reception?



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