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FAMILY 100-- Conflict


Marriage is such a special time and a special gift for families to be sealed together forever.  What a treasured time.  There are so many components in marriage that are important to understand as we begin taking the steps toward or maintaining our current marriages.
Two of these things are sanctification and cooperation.  Hawkins explains, "A “sanctified” relationship ought to be a happy relationship as people go to great lengths to protect and preserve that which they perceive to be sacred (Pargament & Mahoney, 2005)” (2012, p. 196). When we think and believe that our relationships are sacred, we will do everything we can to preserve and protect that relationship.  An eternal marriage through sealing in the temple is the best example of this kind of relationship.

However, it isn’t like heaven every day.  Conflict is bound to arise.  But the way we decide to handle this conflict is what will determine if you maintain your sanctified relationship, "During times of conflict, when emergent goals typically prevail, prayer can restore harmony and promote a greater desire to work together. Prayer can aid us in both strengthening and mending our eternally important relationships." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 199). 

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Prayer is a very powerful influence that can change your relationship for the better.  Hawkins explains the following about prayer, "Drawing on the powers of heaven through prayer is a powerful resource available to couples that can make a good relationship better" (2012, p. 196). He continues, "Prayer may be a medium that transforms emergent goals and restores cooperative goals to the relationship" (2012, p. 198) and finally, "couples reported that including God in their marriage through prayer appeared to be a “softening” event that facilitated problem-solving and reconciliation." (2012, p. 198).  Prayer could be the determining factor in how you treat and feel about your marital relations with your spouse.

To conclude, I would like to end with this quote, "President Thomas S. Monson describes the counsel he received from his sealer at the marriage altar on his wedding day: Successful marriages . . . are established and maintained on principles of . . . prayer. May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another (Monson, 2001, p. 4)." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 196).

References:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

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