Skip to main content

FAMILY 100-- Conflict


Marriage is such a special time and a special gift for families to be sealed together forever.  What a treasured time.  There are so many components in marriage that are important to understand as we begin taking the steps toward or maintaining our current marriages.
Two of these things are sanctification and cooperation.  Hawkins explains, "A “sanctified” relationship ought to be a happy relationship as people go to great lengths to protect and preserve that which they perceive to be sacred (Pargament & Mahoney, 2005)” (2012, p. 196). When we think and believe that our relationships are sacred, we will do everything we can to preserve and protect that relationship.  An eternal marriage through sealing in the temple is the best example of this kind of relationship.

However, it isn’t like heaven every day.  Conflict is bound to arise.  But the way we decide to handle this conflict is what will determine if you maintain your sanctified relationship, "During times of conflict, when emergent goals typically prevail, prayer can restore harmony and promote a greater desire to work together. Prayer can aid us in both strengthening and mending our eternally important relationships." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 199). 

Image result for couple conflict

Prayer is a very powerful influence that can change your relationship for the better.  Hawkins explains the following about prayer, "Drawing on the powers of heaven through prayer is a powerful resource available to couples that can make a good relationship better" (2012, p. 196). He continues, "Prayer may be a medium that transforms emergent goals and restores cooperative goals to the relationship" (2012, p. 198) and finally, "couples reported that including God in their marriage through prayer appeared to be a “softening” event that facilitated problem-solving and reconciliation." (2012, p. 198).  Prayer could be the determining factor in how you treat and feel about your marital relations with your spouse.

To conclude, I would like to end with this quote, "President Thomas S. Monson describes the counsel he received from his sealer at the marriage altar on his wedding day: Successful marriages . . . are established and maintained on principles of . . . prayer. May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another (Monson, 2001, p. 4)." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 196).

References:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Preparing for Marriage

I am sooo excited about the topic this week!   The topic is, (drum roll please), Preparing for marriage!!!! This information really rang true to me because this is the stage that I am currently in.   Let’s get right to it. Dating is an important aspect of eventually finding someone that you will share your life with.   Assortive Dating is the idea that you date multiple people, no strings attached, just going out and having a good time and meeting new people.   This is an important stage that many people skip.   My mom likes to call it shopping for ice cream flavors.   Everyone is different and you may think you like mint chocolate chip until you try graham canyon.   This gives you an idea of what you need in a relationship and things that you could do without. In a devotional given by Dallin H. Oaks entitled “Dating vs. Hanging Out” he explains the 3 p’s of dating: “A “date” must pass the test of three p’s:   Date must h...

Relationships with In-Laws

This week we are talking about the in-laws!!!  This is a topic that many people make jokes about and that many people struggle with.  So how do we create healthy relationships with our in-laws?  What boundaries should we set and how do we do that respectfully?  We are going to explore the answers to these in this post. When we get married, we have just covenanted to love and cleave unto our spouse and no one else.   In Genesis 2:24 it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” The dictionary defines cleave as “to remain attached, devoted, or faithful to,” and “to remain steadfast”.   This is what is required of us when we marry someone. In “Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Family” by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen, they say that, “a newly married couple is to separate from the families in which they grew up. One component of separating from families of origin involves creating ...

FAMILY 100-- Equal Partnership

This week I really wanted to focus on what it meant to have an equal partnership between men and women in families.   I believe that this concept is misrepresented with the views of the world.   There is a large movement in feminism, and it has created ripples throughout the world.   There is a fight for women to be “equal”.   They want the same roles, pay, duties, respect, and more.   They want to feel like they are the same as a man.   This idea is a little bit twisted.   Equal does not mean identical.   The Family Proclamation outlines the roles of men and women.   For men, it states that they must preside, provide, and protect.   For women, their main role is to nurture the children and teach them the gospel.   Does this mean that the roles don’t cross over? Of course not!!!   As equal partners, all duties are shared.   We must be willing to help fill any gaps in those roles if necessary, but that doesn’t mean th...