Skip to main content

FAMILY 100-- Sanctification and Cooperation


There are so many factors that determine the success of a relationship.  One of those is the view/perspective we have on our relationship.  It is important to recognize this because our view will directly affect how we treat our marriages or other relationships, "A “sanctified” relationship ought to be a happy relationship as people go to great lengths to protect and preserve that which they perceive to be sacred (Pargament & Mahoney, 2005)." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 196)

Hawkins quotes, “President Thomas S. Monson describes the counsel he received from his sealer at the marriage altar on his wedding day: Successful marriages . . . are established and maintained on principles of . . . prayer. May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another (Monson, 2001, p. 4)." (2012, p. 196).  I love this quote because it offers us tangible advice on what we can do to maintain the sanctity and holiness of our marital relationships.

Image result for praying by the bed couple

Hawkins continues, “Drawing on the powers of heaven through prayer is a powerful resource available to couples that can make a good relationship better" (2012, p. 196).  I truly believe that calling on the God’s power through prayer, made possible by the enabling power of the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can make our relationships better simply by involving a power that is greater than us.
Martial conflict is inevitable and can be damaging if we do not handle it correctly or at all.  Hawkins shares, "couples reported that including God in their marriage through prayer appeared to be a “softening” event that facilitated problem-solving and reconciliation." (2012, p. 198).  When we pray together, we are more likely able to problem-solve and find reconciliation more readily and efficiently.  Otherwise, when we rely on our own power, our ability is rather limited. “During times of conflict, when emergent goals typically prevail, prayer can restore harmony and promote a greater desire to work together. Prayer can aid us in both strengthening and mending our eternally important relationships." (Hawkins, 2012, p. 199)

In conclusion, I firmly believe that when we view our relationships as sacred and eternal, our effort to maintain that will increase.  Relationships are bound to have bumps along the road but if we actively involve prayer and seek for God’s power in our lives, we will be able to make our bad relationships good and our good relationships better.

References:
Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Preparing for Marriage

I am sooo excited about the topic this week!   The topic is, (drum roll please), Preparing for marriage!!!! This information really rang true to me because this is the stage that I am currently in.   Let’s get right to it. Dating is an important aspect of eventually finding someone that you will share your life with.   Assortive Dating is the idea that you date multiple people, no strings attached, just going out and having a good time and meeting new people.   This is an important stage that many people skip.   My mom likes to call it shopping for ice cream flavors.   Everyone is different and you may think you like mint chocolate chip until you try graham canyon.   This gives you an idea of what you need in a relationship and things that you could do without. In a devotional given by Dallin H. Oaks entitled “Dating vs. Hanging Out” he explains the 3 p’s of dating: “A “date” must pass the test of three p’s:   Date must h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Relationships with In-Laws

This week we are talking about the in-laws!!!  This is a topic that many people make jokes about and that many people struggle with.  So how do we create healthy relationships with our in-laws?  What boundaries should we set and how do we do that respectfully?  We are going to explore the answers to these in this post. When we get married, we have just covenanted to love and cleave unto our spouse and no one else.   In Genesis 2:24 it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” The dictionary defines cleave as “to remain attached, devoted, or faithful to,” and “to remain steadfast”.   This is what is required of us when we marry someone. In “Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Family” by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen, they say that, “a newly married couple is to separate from the families in which they grew up. One component of separating from families of origin involves creating ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Staying Emotionally Connected

Welcome back to another post!   This week we are talking about the importance of staying emotionally connected with your spouse.   It is easy to let the little things get in the way of connecting with our spouse.   Whether that be an irritation we have with them, our cell phones, work, exhaustion, frustration, or to-do lists (this one is my blockade to connection).   Often, we see these things as the most important rather than our eternal companion who is literally the most important thing in the world (after God of course).   I have loved reading about this this week, and I can’t wait to dive in.   Here we go! In The Seven Principles for Making marriage Work by John M. Gottman, he shares the importance of turning towards each other.   He explains that when we turn toward our partner, mutual trust is built.   He also says that true romance, “is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of every da...
Post a Comment
Read more