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FAMILY 100-- Repentance and Family Life


We are all human.  We make many mistakes and those mistakes often have an effect on the people around us.  Whether it be because we hurt them or because we are hurt, and it makes them hurt as well.  We often get stuck in ruts and it can be very challenging for family members to get out of without the power of repentance.  Hawkins shares with us that, “repentance is a process of enhancing internal awareness and interpersonal accountability (Holeman, 2008)” (2012, p. 203).

But why is repentance so important? Hawkins says, "In addition, individuals and families who are able to forgive important transgressions are likely to have better emotional and physical health (Battle & Miller, 2005), and positive emotions improve health in a variety of ways (Harris & Thoresen, 2005). Numerous studies have demonstrated a relationship between forgiveness and well-being (e.g., Thoresen, Harris, & Luskin, 2000)" (2012, p. 203).  Repentance literally improves your overall health and well-being.

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Repentance requires an apology.  Hawkins says, "a successful apology includes several parts: (a) an accurate acknowledgment of the offense; (b) an appropriate expression of regret, remorse, or sorrow; (c) a suitable offer of repayment or restitution; and (d) a pledge for behavior reform to ensure that the offense is not repeated. " (2012, p. 204).  We must have all of these elements to be successful in our apologies.

Repentance is something we often talk about but something I think we can all utilize better in our lives.  Hawkins shares 5 steps in the repentance process (2012, p. 205):

1. Recognize the sin. We admit to ourselves that we have done something wrong.

2. Feel sorrow for the sin. Feeling sorrowful, we are humble and submissive before God, and we come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit.

3. Forsake the sin. We stop committing the sin and pledge to never do it again.

4. Confess. We should confess all our sins to the Lord. In addition, we must confess serious sins that might affect our standing in the Church to the proper ecclesiastical authority.

5. Make restitution. Insofar as possible, we make right any wrong that we have do

In conclusion, forgiveness and repentance are crucial elements to a successful and happy family life.  It is important that we include these elements in not only our family relationships, but strive to have them in all of our relationships.  I want to end with the words of Hawkins, "Genuine forgiveness [and repentance] is a process, not a product. It is hard work and it takes time. It is a voluntary act that gives meaning to the wound and frees the injured person from the ills of bitterness and resentment” (2012, p. 205)

References:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

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