Skip to main content

FAMILY 100-- Repentance and Family Life


We are all human.  We make many mistakes and those mistakes often have an effect on the people around us.  Whether it be because we hurt them or because we are hurt, and it makes them hurt as well.  We often get stuck in ruts and it can be very challenging for family members to get out of without the power of repentance.  Hawkins shares with us that, “repentance is a process of enhancing internal awareness and interpersonal accountability (Holeman, 2008)” (2012, p. 203).

But why is repentance so important? Hawkins says, "In addition, individuals and families who are able to forgive important transgressions are likely to have better emotional and physical health (Battle & Miller, 2005), and positive emotions improve health in a variety of ways (Harris & Thoresen, 2005). Numerous studies have demonstrated a relationship between forgiveness and well-being (e.g., Thoresen, Harris, & Luskin, 2000)" (2012, p. 203).  Repentance literally improves your overall health and well-being.

Image result for repentance

Repentance requires an apology.  Hawkins says, "a successful apology includes several parts: (a) an accurate acknowledgment of the offense; (b) an appropriate expression of regret, remorse, or sorrow; (c) a suitable offer of repayment or restitution; and (d) a pledge for behavior reform to ensure that the offense is not repeated. " (2012, p. 204).  We must have all of these elements to be successful in our apologies.

Repentance is something we often talk about but something I think we can all utilize better in our lives.  Hawkins shares 5 steps in the repentance process (2012, p. 205):

1. Recognize the sin. We admit to ourselves that we have done something wrong.

2. Feel sorrow for the sin. Feeling sorrowful, we are humble and submissive before God, and we come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit.

3. Forsake the sin. We stop committing the sin and pledge to never do it again.

4. Confess. We should confess all our sins to the Lord. In addition, we must confess serious sins that might affect our standing in the Church to the proper ecclesiastical authority.

5. Make restitution. Insofar as possible, we make right any wrong that we have do

In conclusion, forgiveness and repentance are crucial elements to a successful and happy family life.  It is important that we include these elements in not only our family relationships, but strive to have them in all of our relationships.  I want to end with the words of Hawkins, "Genuine forgiveness [and repentance] is a process, not a product. It is hard work and it takes time. It is a voluntary act that gives meaning to the wound and frees the injured person from the ills of bitterness and resentment” (2012, p. 205)

References:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divorce

This last blog post is on divorce.   This is a rough topic for many families and can be a very sensitive subject.   There are so many reasons why someone would divorce.   For example, reasons could include things such as abuse (physical or emotional), adultery, addiction (of any kind), and abandonment (either physical or emotional).   Whatever the reason, this can be a shattering experience for everyone in the family.   There are three kinds of divorce: 1.        Legal divorce 2.        Economic divorce 3.        Parental divorce Legal divorce is settled by the courts and the marriage is dissolved officially by law.   The second kind, economic divorce is when you separate your things.   This could include finances (you separate bank accounts), property, etc.   The last one is parental divorce where the parents split. Often times if a...
1 comment
Read more

Relationships with In-Laws

This week we are talking about the in-laws!!!  This is a topic that many people make jokes about and that many people struggle with.  So how do we create healthy relationships with our in-laws?  What boundaries should we set and how do we do that respectfully?  We are going to explore the answers to these in this post. When we get married, we have just covenanted to love and cleave unto our spouse and no one else.   In Genesis 2:24 it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” The dictionary defines cleave as “to remain attached, devoted, or faithful to,” and “to remain steadfast”.   This is what is required of us when we marry someone. In “Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Family” by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen, they say that, “a newly married couple is to separate from the families in which they grew up. One component of separating from families of origin involves creating ...
Post a Comment
Read more

FAMILY 100-- Equal Partnership

This week I really wanted to focus on what it meant to have an equal partnership between men and women in families.   I believe that this concept is misrepresented with the views of the world.   There is a large movement in feminism, and it has created ripples throughout the world.   There is a fight for women to be “equal”.   They want the same roles, pay, duties, respect, and more.   They want to feel like they are the same as a man.   This idea is a little bit twisted.   Equal does not mean identical.   The Family Proclamation outlines the roles of men and women.   For men, it states that they must preside, provide, and protect.   For women, their main role is to nurture the children and teach them the gospel.   Does this mean that the roles don’t cross over? Of course not!!!   As equal partners, all duties are shared.   We must be willing to help fill any gaps in those roles if necessary, but that doesn’t mean th...
Post a Comment
Read more